“The best thing you could do for anyone that you love, is be happy! And the very worst thing that you could do for anyone that you love, is be unhappy, and then ask them to try to change it, when there is nothing that anybody else can do that will make you happy.” Abraham-Hicks
I get it now, but I didn’t always. When I understood that how I feel is my choice, and no one else’s responsibility, life began to change for me. Slowly, my victim-hood fell away because it no longer fit. I began to see that I can choose who I spend my time with, and how I react and respond to them.
My thoughts changed from “how can she do that to me?” to “how did I attract that behavior? what part did I play? how can I choose a different response?” Can you see the self-empowerment here?
Taking responsibility for how I feel, and how my life turns out, wasn’t always the way I operated. Now my life has a greater degree of freedom and possibility because I know it’s all on me. I can blame no one. Can you imagine a life without blame? I’d like to tell you, it’s much lighter and happier.
The most challenging place to make this change, for me, is in romantic relationships. I’ve always operated with some expectation that “he” should make me happy. Somewhere I learned that finding a man who says “I love you” will be the answer to all my problems, and I’ll live happily ever after. Hmmm, wonder where I got that idea?
On some level, I blamed the storybooks and romantic comedies of my youth. But my higher self knows I can choose to leave that “education” in my past and create a new possibility. This continues to be a great place of learning for me.
In my last relationship, my ex-beau and I got into an argument one night. The reason for the fight was insignificant, but I had an “a-ha” moment afterwards. As we analyzed the who-said-what together, I pointed out a moment where he might have chosen a different response. He adamantly claimed “I had no choice” again and again.
His words haunted me for days. It became clear to me that we’d never be compatible because he didn’t see that life is always a choice. The relationship didn’t last much longer, and I learned how important it is that my future partner share this value.
It also lifted me to a new level of responsibility in my relationships. I learned that only I can make myself happy and that my happiness is a gift for those I love.
I always thought happiness was something to find, to acquire, to learn how to do. Now I know that happiness is simply a choice. Admittedly, it’s not always easy, but it’s always possible.
Loving relationships, and your own happiness, are important parts of an awesome life. I’d love to know if you can relate – please share your comment below.
Ready to choose happiness? My Awesome Life Ultimate Upgrade Program will guide you towards making choices in your health, in your career and in your relationships that will change your life forever. If you’re ready to choose happiness, I’d love to talk with you. Please schedule your Awesome Life Breakthrough Session today.